84 - POSITIVITY = HAPPINESS

I was invited to an annual Ladies' Hat Day luncheon at the exclusive El Corazon Golf Club.  I hadn't seen this place but had heard of it for a number of years and was very curious to see it.  Along with the invitation, which I accepted, was a request that I speak to the women.  The subject to be about positivity and happiness.  A challenge I also accepted.

The golf course is stunning!  Built up the side of a small mountain with a breathtaking view of the Manzanillo Bay, it surpassed my imagination of what it would be.

Thirty-two women gathered - a few I knew, but most were strangers.  After mingling for  pre-lunch drinks, we sat as the first course was served and I was introduced.  

At the end of my short presentation, I was humbled by their reaction - a standing ovation!!  Several women spoke to me later telling me how my words had affected them emotionally, several that they were inspired by them.

I thought that my brief presentation may be of interest to you too, so here it is.  

"People claim there are two things in life you can count on – death and taxes.  Actually, there are three – the third is change. 

Change is constant in life. Most people fear it.  It can be difficult, but we must find ways to embrace it, not fight it. Here are only a few examples from my own life : 

•  I survived being alone for the first time in my life in 2019.  My husband Don died.   Covid hit only months later.

 In Canada we were locked in our homes – not allowed to go out.  What to do? How to get exercise? How not to get bored enough to scream. 

I Filled every waking moment – took writing classes on zoom to write my memoirs; bought a stationary bike, put movies on my ipad to watch while I rode for miles; worked on a zigsaw puzzle hours at a time;  read newspapers on line; had groceries delivered; stayed in touch with family and friends through FaceTime & FaceBook; and took piano lessons on FaceTime with a teacher/friend in Calgary. 

• Rules about Covid eased up.  I Didn’t like the solitary life in the house.  Time for a lifestyle change.
• I Sold the small house on my own.  26 showings in 6 days, sold for more than my asking price.
• Rented a seniors’ apartment in Collingwood – a new town I had only visited a couple of times – there I made new contacts, new friends. 

 Over the years, as I aged, I disliked Canadian winters more and more.  When we were allowed to travel again after Covid, I returned to Manzanillo in January of 2023. Reality hit me.  At 88 I was in excellent health, but paying high rent for a senior's apartment in Canada while paying for a casa in Mexico. Having no pension, just my savings, I could run out of money before I ran out of life.  That was not a good plan. 

• I changed my lifestyle again.   I had an epiphany – became a nomad.  Cancelled the lease on the senior’s apartment, sold everything I owned, including my car. I would rent airbnbs during the summer in Canada to maintain my Canadian health care and rent a condo in Club Santiago during the winter where I have so many friends.

I am living the lifestyle I want, I never see winter, I’m having more fun and exciting adventures than I ever have, and I’m saving $12 - $15,000 a year while doing it.  

I have no responsibilities.  I’m free as a bird, can go wherever, whenever I want.  Life is wonderful – I love change!!  It keeps me positive and happy. 

Learning is another essential for keeping young and positive.  Learning is lifelong experience.  That doesn’t mean just school.  

I was a 16 year old high school drop out with no vision for my future except getting married and having babies. Through numerous ups and downs in my life, (3 marriages, an abused wife for 7 years with 3 small children, my only son killed by a drunk driver at 29,) and grabbing job opportunities that came my way, even if I didn’t know how to do the job.   I eventually became President of Max Factor and Vice-President of Revlon. 

I had a burn out, - more change.  After 2 years of therapy, I did not want to go back into corporate life.   I created a multi-level-marketing company selling the personal care products I created with a chemist.  After a year, I sold that company to an international company, and went with it as a figurehead = meaning travelling wherever they had distributors and speaking at conferences, to as many as 5,000 people.  

After the 5 year contract was up, at 68 I  became a self-taught professional artist.  My work now hangs in corporate offices and private collections in Mexico, Canada and the U.S.  

Studies have shown learning makes you happier.  It improves your brain health and boosts memory, helps prevent cognitive disease. I’ll never stop learning! 

Worry is a useless waste of time and energy.  Most things you worry about never happen.  Concern is ok.  Look at your options.  Act on them if you have to. 

Surround yourself with positive people.   Isolation is harmful.  Develop a support group you can connect with and turn to. 

Have Gratitude – for what you have or have received – it’s a foundation for happiness. 

“Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day” – Alice Morse Earl. 

Be kind.  To yourself.  To others.   A smile when passing someone on the street.  A phone call to a friend you haven't spoken to for some time. 

Choose to be positive.  Choose to be happy.  If that means making changes to your life, do it and never look back."